Archive for the ‘Mantra’ Category

Bizarro World

Thursday, September 1st, 2005

Great, so the power supply on my almighty Dell burns out and my 200 gigs of music and anime are not accessible at the moment. Time for a new computer. Anyways I finished my research for my professor and am officially done with my undergraduate career. I’m pretty sure I’m leaving this pathetic college town. Most of my friends are gone and taking a 10 to 15K pay cut by staying here isn’t what I want. Moreover I’ve noticed a few things this summer:


I’m getting tired of this group of friends I’ve been hanging out with this summer. I’ve been friends with most of them since I was a freshman but was able to limit my time with them. I don’t even like being in big groups; it perpetuates whole leader and follower model. For instance if you are in a group of 7 guys there are usually one or two who will follow the the defacto “leader” or leaders (usually no more than one third of the group). The mindless drones who have the need to be surrounded by their friends (aka
no matter how small the task. In my mind this behavior is feminine and it makes it hard for me to respect you as a man.

“I always wanted to do something that would change the world”

To paraphrase a popular quote from a young Steve Jobs. Immediate post-college life (at least for science majors) has much more pressure than school ever did. All this year I avoided confrontation with a serious job search. Iwas ignorant to the process of hiring when it comes to tech jobs. What I’ve quickly learned is that the real world is quite cut throat. You have companies hiring new grads based upon brain-teasers and monolithic standards of what the industry deems “intelligent”. This is actually an advantage for some one like myself who is not a Dean’s List member. On the other hand you realize that most things that matter to a hiring supervisor, you weren’t taught in school. That makes it easier to fuck up, if you’re not careful.

The Thrill Is Gone

The thrill of college life partying is done. Now the only way I can seem to get excited is seeing new faces and new places. This of course means more expensive bars and clubs. Implying the “big city” LOL. I was never much of a hardcore partier in school; I don’t like beer, and only really began drinking to calm my nerves in social situations. That’s changed though.

I see these people around me trapped in this college mentality of going out and getting “WASTED” because it’s so “EXTREME!”. Much like their “extreme” antagonist counterparts in “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle”. Case in point. Today my school just won it’s football season opener. I’m getting some coffee like an hour ago and a Jeep rolls by with 4 drunk fools screaming “GO DUCKS MOTHERFUCKER!” I had to ask myself, what was the point of that?

Women are still frivolous

I try every day, not to look at women like objects. I try and I try and I try to make an effort to see them more as respectable people with good intentions. But it seems girls I encounter continue to ruin for women as a whole. I’ll save the meat of this for an upcoming next post.

What to do?

Tuesday, August 9th, 2005

So I’m done with school in 4 days. I have been procrastinating for ages when it comes to looking for jobs. I guess the expectations upon me seem so overwhelming to be thinking about while I’m still in school. Moreover I have to be out of the apartment I’m staying at by the end of this month. Keep in mind I’ve made no attempt to look for a new place!

So what are my options?

Stay in town and look for a job remotely


Move to a new town and look for a job.

Sounds simple enough right? Then comes in the extrinsic aspects of my life such as current relationships and loose ends here in town that my emotions are addicted to. Supposedly 2 weeks from now I should know what I’m doing (hopefully).

I Can’t Go To Sleep

Monday, August 1st, 2005


The past 2 days have been so fucking routine. I wake up around 10 or 11 and do some shell programming then eat then debug C code some more. Then if I’m up for it I might actually leave my apartment for a moment to get Subway or Starbucks….This is all while listen to a random mix of mp3’s ranging from Brazilian music to Southern Hip Hop to obscure Japanese instrumental experimentation ish.

I don’t watch TV, so the internet is my entertainment. Bittorrents supplys me with all the subtitled anime I need. Online Hip Hop forums supply me with the latest leaked tracks. Maybe 300 years from now this will help some anthropologist understand a 22 year old non-white male from 2005 just as japanese poetry gave insight into the everyday lifes of Samurai warriors.

Then to make me more pessimistic about the future I ran across this website that talked about common interview questions for computer science undergrads. I looked over it and I ascertained that I knew a good portion of the answers granted time, but if you were to ask me on the spot I would probably have a hard time explaining it succinctly in a nerve racking interview situation….

All of a sudden I’m started to despise isolation that programming can bring about. One of my good friends whom was a computer science major briefly told me he quit just because of the antisocial affliction it brought about. When you think about it, it’s a very selfish act!

Consider that you are manipulating a computer to do exactly what you want it to do and nothing else! If one was to treat people that they would get the label of being insensitive to others opinions and thoughts. But hey, this is a science right? It’s supposed to be masculine!

Diamonds and Pearls

Sunday, January 30th, 2005

Yeah, just like that Prince song. Damn! My blog entries are hotter! An unusual rant with the right mix intellect, sexual content and humor to sum up my thoughts of the week.

But first allow me to promote this link that has Old Skool Bay Area Music videos. Definitely something any hip hop fan needs to check out. Moreover the “front” page has turned in to a guestbook so check that out here.



Blog Soap Operas and School

Monday, January 24th, 2005

Five updates in a month! Life really is interesting! Anyways this was a peculiar week.



Four’s Company (Part 1)

Monday, October 11th, 2004

Recently several of my friends have been coming up to me asking me about my current living situation. For the past month I’ve been I’m been living in a house with 3 female roommates. It would seem that this would be the dream of every college guy, however it is more of a strenuous test of self control and dare I say…team management!!??. Moreover it doesn’t help that I’ve already messed with two of my roommates prior to moving in with them!

So how would a young and supple male such as myself reap the benefits of this situation? Fortunately in my 2 am stupor I have choosen to bless the masses of young males with my Definitive Guide To Multiple Female Roommates. Are you up for the challenge?



Summer Begins

Sunday, August 15th, 2004

Or atleast post summer school summer. Anyways I can’t seem to break out of staying up until 6 am since the weekend before finals. It’s 8am and I’m still up! Well I did get something done, the PHOTOS section of the site is up and running.

Pretty much from now to October I’m going to be scheming and conniving to get the next big idea. Trust me, it will happen one way or another! Until then feast on the desktop.

August Already?

Saturday, August 7th, 2004

Well the summer is mostly over and I have a week left of summer school. Would I suggest that this summer term has been a success? I suppose, except for the Math class I’m attempting to drop a week after the withdrawl deadline…. that shit had better work out. The real question is what have I learned?

The Python class I’m taking has been really cool. If I have to program anything I would want it to be in Python because it’s so fucking straightforward. You can check out my Wiki written in Python here

The System Administration class has been extremely informative and has definitely raised my interest in Linux and networking. Finally I can hack into computers like they do in the movies!!

The XML class that a hardly show up to is god awful. It’s wretched and tedious. I’ll leave that shit to nerds. Fortunately the assignments aren’t too time consuming.

Current Desktop


Monday, February 2nd, 2004

Recently I’ve been having recurring thoughts and dreams about my “younger” days. I suppose the early and mid 90’s wasn’t that long ago, however I feel I’ve aged so much. Of course this evolution was expected and has been well received; though it justs seems to hurt me to think that life was so simple then.