Archive for the ‘Female Relations’ Category

I don’t pander to women

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006

[Young Jeezy]That’s riiiiiight![/Jeezy] Any male who is celebrating Valentines Day has abdicated any respect his signifcant other had for him. She may not show it but in the back of her mind she’s thinking your soft. I’m not saying no man should treat their girlfriend or wife but just realize that you’re succumbing to social pressure. I almost did it, but I had the self control!

I’m at work today wondering if I just “do something” for this girl I’m “seeing”. Seeing you say? I sleep over at her place but we still haven’t had sex. She invited me over for dinner and I returned the favor. I dunno want she wants. We talk on IM at work daily and I decide to set the bait and she how she reacts. My astute conculsion at by the end of the work day was to cease communication with her. Indefinitely. Unless she contacts me of course.

Since I’m working ~40 hours weeks I’m not in a position to juggle women (during the week) as much as I did just months ago. I’m not opposed to the idea of being with one girl, in fact it would make my life much easier. I would most likely be a happier person and be more sucessful at work.

Unfortunately I know it would be a farce. I would think I’m lying to myself. There is so much opportunity at this point in my life and I’m wasting it with a girl I most likely will not marry. I see this dudes with their girlfriend and feel likfe I can see right through that bravado of their perfect relationship.

I’m not one to dwell on other peoples decisions in their own lives, but I can’t let that be me. I’ve lost count of how many women I’ve been with and that tells me something. I do feel like I’ve gained a great understanding of women but maybe it’s too good. I’ve become extremely cynical! That’s how I justify dating multiple women at once and not telling them about each other. Might as well strike first right?

Daydreaming

Tuesday, July 26th, 2005

Daydreaming (Killa Style!)

So I sit here at midnight about to start this allele parsing programming for my Professor’s research….I’m wondering what is chick I’m seeing is thinking. Early today she showed up at my place unexpectedly with the premise of picking up some earring she left here bedside a week ago. I’m sure it was innocent enough, but I found myself shook with fear for a while after she dropped by. What if I had someone over!? I’ve been with this chick for a little over a month and uncharacteristically I really enjoy spending time with her.

Unfortunately I can’t escape my womenizing past. Despite this girl being bangin’ IMO, I still flirt with other chicks just out of……insecurity? The dualism of physical and mental, sex and emotions, is very clear cut for me. However, just now I’m feeling like I’m have sex with someone I actually like. I hope I’m not becoming too soft….(no homo)

One Day I’m Gonna Make A Movie About This

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

I find myself not making entries because I’m against whining about my personal problems. It seems in bad taste. If I was some Live Journal whore I would probably have 3 or 4 entries a day. Anyways I have do have something on my mind right now and it deals with women and myself (a reoccuring theme in my life). But I won’t discuss it in this mode of anxiety I’m in right now. But I will give you background.

I’m a whore. Plain and simple. Once one reaches my levels you feel ashamed to even be with a girl. I’ve come to the conclusion that I act this way because I feel I’m in control of the situation and can’t be “hurt” (as women say) :keke.

Consequently I suck at maintaining relationships not based around sex. Society makes one feel that if they can’t accomplish this, then they are a fail. Why is this?

Ok I lied. I’m going to talk about this situation. I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks now while still rotating my regular “starters”. I actually like this new girl and the feeling seems mutual. Despite my experience in being able to get in girls pants, I feel amateurish when deciding my next move on this girl.

I hate having to constant have someone on my mind, and I feel as though I spend a large amount of time questioning my every move on her. Will she call back? Is she mad at me? What is she thinking!? These thoughts have flooded my mind recently.

We had sex for the first time this past weekend. It took 4 weeks, the longest I’ve waited on a girl. Now it seems things are supposed to change. Yet I’m still playing this mind games with her. Waiting days to call, or cancelling plans.

Fortunately good ol’ programming gets my mind off of such debauchery. Once again strictly off the top. Peace!

Loungin’

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005

I swear I have like 5 entries I’ve written but haven’t posted it. I guess I’ve just been stressed with school and busy with activities to release them without context. So since the last entry I’ve had been furiously working on an a CS assignment dealing with the antiquated language of SML . In the end we were only able to solve 3 out of 4 problems :dunno

So last friday I went to a friends cocktail party. The invitation said dress “formal” of course I went in a suit and tie. it happened was a bad idea in the sense of utility. Fortunately I got to tie up some loose ends with the chick I’ve been astranged with. Alcohol is always the crutch for normally timid girls. Anyways the nucleus of the night was the open bar which I took great advantage of. Yadda yadda yadda, I’m at my 27 year old female next neighbors house at 6 am. “Pretty extreme” as my friend Nasim coined…

Then just one of my friends from out of town came by unexpectedly with his friends. So that meant teh day consisted of playing Street Fighter Alpha 3 and making beats. I ended up selling my first beat to them. Interesting. Here’s a link to a crazy freestyle session we had.

Night Trap

Wednesday, February 16th, 2005

This has been on my mind for months now. There’s no other way to release my pain and stress then talk about it…….I live in fear everyday because I live with a psycho voodoo bitch. Fuck it, I’m exposing her. This is much needed therapy for me,

I feel like I’m living in the video game night trap with I have a vicious female psychopath trying to attack me an every turn

I swear she has a voodoo doll and is trying to place a hex on me.

One time a few weeks ago I woke up to her standing right next to my bed staring at me, but then she just told me to move my car so she could get out. Can you feel me??
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Jackie O?

Sunday, February 6th, 2005

So I’m working on an assignment for my Programming Concepts class and my next door neighbor from my apartment complex last year IM’s me. She is one fo those types of people who just starts AIM conversations to procrastinate from homework rescue her from boredom. Since it’s good to have some stimulation while coding I oblige.

Basically from my memories of living in my old apartment complex she is addicted to red wine and would often barge in to my apartment with dubious intentions when heavily inebriated.

I nicknamed her Jackie O because she always wears big thick ass black Sunglasses similar to the Notorious BIG and of course Jackie Onassis (former first lady)


Anyways she liked the nickname so much she refers to herself as Jackie now. (I’m such a trendsetter :wink)

So she takes this roleplaying to extreme lengths now. She called me John as in JFK (Jackie’s husband for the non-Westerners) and tries to seduce me via instant messenger!? What type of sadistic person does this? There’s one answer to that. An Attention Whore.

They comes in all shapes and sizes. Attempting to use their body or implied sexual advances to get what they want. But……….what do they want? Just the mental placebo of feeling as if you control someone? Sounds like a lot of effort for a minimal gain to me.

Sure there are male attention whores too. I don’t mean to bash women. However they are harder to spot. A guy who attempts to make himself look better at the expense of others is an attention whore. Or one who attempts to cockblock another is an attention whore. I don’t deal with that shit often so I won’t dive further into that aspect.

After my lengthy IM conversation I realized that she wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between my responses and program that was instructed to return a supplicating response. Seriously think about that…..all of a sudden one realizes that the conversation was entirely inconsequential. This means that I could have acheived the same end result if I had put no effort in.

Effectively it is mental masturbation for her. Being the a supple young male, that doesn’t cut it for me. It’s a nice gesture when my focus is elsewhere (homework) but don’t I think to logical to get off on assuming emotions based that I someone I talk to via text message or instant message.

Anyways via this roleplaying she asks me (John) what I like about Jackie and what I would do to her. She starts telling me what she’s wearing I return the jab and just get to the point my telling her to just come over to my place. She hesitates of course and attempts in vain to act as if I’m out of line. Fuck this shit.

Blog Soap Operas and School

Monday, January 24th, 2005

Five updates in a month! Life really is interesting! Anyways this was a peculiar week.

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What She Says, What She Means

Tuesday, January 11th, 2005

This may be a pure heat of the moment thought but when did it become acceptable to be pretentious as fuck in an email? I can accept IM, but this is ridiculous!


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Obviously only a chick could get me this annoyed. I come back from the library at about midnight and I have this mail notification from MySpace.com , saying this girl (who we will call Jane) has messaged me. Of course I’m kinda interested in what Jane has to say since she slept at my place last week and I haven’t talked to her outside of an obiglatory next day text message (it’s 2005, catch up!).

Anyways, I click on the link and it says:
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Four’s Company (Part 2)

Thursday, December 2nd, 2004

So we meet again. This entry is Part 2 of my journey; the Definitive Guide To Multiple Female Roommates. Those who missed the first session of my lecture can catch up here. It’s been a struggle so far, but I’ve carried the cross and remained a man so you could afford have a better college experience! I feel my last entry was underwhelming by only sharing one rule with the masses. This time I have 2 BRAND NEW SPANKING COMMANDMENTS to deliver to you….my disciples.


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Four’s Company (Part 1)

Monday, October 11th, 2004

Recently several of my friends have been coming up to me asking me about my current living situation. For the past month I’ve been I’m been living in a house with 3 female roommates. It would seem that this would be the dream of every college guy, however it is more of a strenuous test of self control and dare I say…team management!!??. Moreover it doesn’t help that I’ve already messed with two of my roommates prior to moving in with them!

So how would a young and supple male such as myself reap the benefits of this situation? Fortunately in my 2 am stupor I have choosen to bless the masses of young males with my Definitive Guide To Multiple Female Roommates. Are you up for the challenge?

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