Archive for July, 2005

Daydreaming

Tuesday, July 26th, 2005

Daydreaming (Killa Style!)

So I sit here at midnight about to start this allele parsing programming for my Professor’s research….I’m wondering what is chick I’m seeing is thinking. Early today she showed up at my place unexpectedly with the premise of picking up some earring she left here bedside a week ago. I’m sure it was innocent enough, but I found myself shook with fear for a while after she dropped by. What if I had someone over!? I’ve been with this chick for a little over a month and uncharacteristically I really enjoy spending time with her.

Unfortunately I can’t escape my womenizing past. Despite this girl being bangin’ IMO, I still flirt with other chicks just out of……insecurity? The dualism of physical and mental, sex and emotions, is very clear cut for me. However, just now I’m feeling like I’m have sex with someone I actually like. I hope I’m not becoming too soft….(no homo)

New Blog, New People, New Money

Monday, July 25th, 2005

So I’ve switched to the cookie cutter design of WordPress! In the near I should be personalizing the aesthetics more to my liking. Anyways at this particular moment in time I’m contemplating what digital camera I should “purchase”. By this time next week I should be in possession of a 5+ Megapixel camera that will buttress the many entries in this blog.

Moreover I will probably be reviewing Albums more often so look for that. Due to the fact that I’m on the job search right now I might have to slow down on explicit detail of certain situations.

soccer pic

The End?

Friday, July 22nd, 2005

I need a new layout to correspond to changes in my life such as graduating college and shit so expect a different design soon!

July_22.jpg

One Day I’m Gonna Make A Movie About This

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

I find myself not making entries because I’m against whining about my personal problems. It seems in bad taste. If I was some Live Journal whore I would probably have 3 or 4 entries a day. Anyways I have do have something on my mind right now and it deals with women and myself (a reoccuring theme in my life). But I won’t discuss it in this mode of anxiety I’m in right now. But I will give you background.

I’m a whore. Plain and simple. Once one reaches my levels you feel ashamed to even be with a girl. I’ve come to the conclusion that I act this way because I feel I’m in control of the situation and can’t be “hurt” (as women say) :keke.

Consequently I suck at maintaining relationships not based around sex. Society makes one feel that if they can’t accomplish this, then they are a fail. Why is this?

Ok I lied. I’m going to talk about this situation. I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks now while still rotating my regular “starters”. I actually like this new girl and the feeling seems mutual. Despite my experience in being able to get in girls pants, I feel amateurish when deciding my next move on this girl.

I hate having to constant have someone on my mind, and I feel as though I spend a large amount of time questioning my every move on her. Will she call back? Is she mad at me? What is she thinking!? These thoughts have flooded my mind recently.

We had sex for the first time this past weekend. It took 4 weeks, the longest I’ve waited on a girl. Now it seems things are supposed to change. Yet I’m still playing this mind games with her. Waiting days to call, or cancelling plans.

Fortunately good ol’ programming gets my mind off of such debauchery. Once again strictly off the top. Peace!