Yeah, just like that Prince song. Damn! My blog entries are hotter! An unusual rant with the right mix intellect, sexual content and humor to sum up my thoughts of the week.
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Trying to enjoy life, and take advantage opportunites. I’m not the one to rant and grieve about my position but I do feel much more pressured to excel than most students. Mostly because things are 10x harder for minorites in this country. This is not a realization but something I’ve grown up being taught. It’s very annoying at times though, especially when you’re the only minorty in sight.
I compare my brain to a computer. When my mind isn’t calculating programming solutions or everyday tasks, it turns on its screensaver, which happens to be cognitive visuals of sexual exploits. It’s becoming annoying :whoad.
It like I’ll be in class and my mind shuts off and the screensaver turns on to me fucking my Linguistics teacher. Though I look attentive. I don’t think this is strange though. Just something that people never articulate.
Moreover I’m scared about my computer usuage. Am I becoming too close to the computer? Why do I view my homework as a stack? Why am I worried about how efficient the path that I walk to the bus stop is? I continue to view women as objects that can be manipulated via functions. In the end I don’t think this is good for me. Though evrything I see only reenforces my behavior.
In my last entry I expressed remorse for posting What She Says, What She Means but now that we don’t talk to each other, I say fuck it :jerkit. I was tricking myself into feeling guilty. Do you see how my behavior is reenforced? You can’t blame me. Wow, I’m getting too deep in this entry. I suppose it’s my digital version of free association. I feel like I’m writing a debrief of my week like Scully used to do at the end of every 1st season episode of The X-Files.