Four’s Company (Part 1)

Recently several of my friends have been coming up to me asking me about my current living situation. For the past month I’ve been I’m been living in a house with 3 female roommates. It would seem that this would be the dream of every college guy, however it is more of a strenuous test of self control and dare I say…team management!!??. Moreover it doesn’t help that I’ve already messed with two of my roommates prior to moving in with them!

So how would a young and supple male such as myself reap the benefits of this situation? Fortunately in my 2 am stupor I have choosen to bless the masses of young males with my Definitive Guide To Multiple Female Roommates. Are you up for the challenge?


Rule #1

“Maintain your space”

This rule is critical in your success as a young bachelor. What this means is that your personal room/area is to be used minimally as a hangout spot for more than one roommate at a time. Anything more than one of your female roommates is detrimental to your game bwoy.

Why? First and foremost this helps maintain your masculinity. You don’t want them changing you! You don’t want to be sympathetic to their female needs in your domain (see Seinfeld).


Secondly when multiple young girls live in close proximity it is inevitable that they will be untidy. This is explained simply by the fact that they won’t be able to come to a compromise due to fragile egos. This untidiness will spill into your area. Not acceptable.


Lastly this mentally subconsciously makes you the dominant roomate in the house. You already have the advantage of being the only male, however this just re-enforces your position at the top. They won’t see you as a friend, you’ll be their roommate. The roommate who is mysterious in a way because he can’t be dominated. And we all know girls want what they can’t seem to have.

Part 2 coming soon…………

One Response to “Four’s Company (Part 1)”

  1. DNutz says:

    excellent work

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