Recently I’ve been having recurring thoughts and dreams about my “younger” days. I suppose the early and mid 90’s wasn’t that long ago, however I feel I’ve aged so much. Of course this evolution was expected and has been well received; though it justs seems to hurt me to think that life was so simple then.

When you’re younger you think that the days are so long. Your agenda is very inclined to whatever gives you pleasure at the moment. To look back at it now I’m sure there were several moment where I just wasted time by watching TV, playing video games or something else trivial.

Since I’ve been in college I’ve realized how short days are. Especially when you are a computer science major. Fortunately if you schedule your time well you can party and what not when it counts. But then still there are too many things I want to do that I can’t, due to time constraints. (Fuck it, once I’m the next P. Diddy I won’t have to worry about that!)

Basically that the point of all this rambling is that a lot of the day to day activities of college student and younger are trivial and I suspect are done just to one can say “yeah I did that” or “I’ve puked before” or “I’ve been in a threesome while I was high on (insert drug here)”.

What’s more important than that future? Most of the shit people are doing won’t matter in a year or two. It’s inconsequential. The underlining message that is being communicated through my dreams is that I should be doing what is going to help me, my father, those close to me and my descendants. Sure I say this no but well it happen? Will I break my new found mantra? Probably. Maybe it’s just the thought that counts?

Oh yeah…….here’s the sex part :

I finally got head last night after putting in work on a 3 month “below the belt” project. It sucked :( Oh well there’s next time.

(Another inconsequential act……..)

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